Wildflower in the Wind

I pretend black tea isn't caffeine.

I pretend it isn't caffeine and then drink it after dinner as a distraction (or just to look cool) while I am typing away at my computer. Sometimes I'm doing actual work. An hour an a half later I'm still typing away, swept up in what I tend to believe is a great fantastic creative brainstorm. Or I've been blessed with a brief period of intense productivity, so I make lists and I plan and I budget. And I get excited about what I'm going to do the next day when I wake up. I'll clean my room, I'll get started on that paper, I'll walk myself downtown to pick up a few things, I'll DO things. There are papers busily strewn about my desk and the feeling of accomplishment floods my veins carried along by the adrenaline. I decide that I will start working out more, eating better. I find heavy things and do arm exercises at my desk while I am planning and working and typing.

And it's exhilarating because the caffeine doesn't even cross my mind. Black tea isn't caffeine, so why would it have any effect on me?

And then I wake up the next day groggy and without the slightest idea as to why I chose to stay up until two o'clock planning and designing the Christmas cards I want to give my roommates before I leave.

But I have to pretend because if I don't, I'll start drinking tea in the morning to get that sense of accomplishment early in the day. And then I'll have to move on to coffee to get the buzz, and then espresso. Green tea is a gateway drug, kids. It leads to black tea which just leads to a whole mess of problems.

Good thing caffine doesn't affect me, right?


Man could I use some sugar right about now...